November 22, 2013

Thanksgiving last year vs. what Thanksgiving this year will be

I'm just going to say it, last year Thanksgiving was rough!! I mean very rough!! It was the worst Thanksgiving I can ever remember and we have had some bad ones. Through all of our bad Thanksgivings though they have all turned out great. Last year was no exception! To begin last year was our first year without daddy. That was the core of all the issues surrounding our bad Thanksgiving. Nobody really was feeling it, except the kids. They were totally giddy waiting on their turkey dinner and the official kick off to the Christmas season. You could tell there was even a fog over them though. I don't know if they were feeling the depression us adults were holding or if they truly sensed it was just a hard time to be celebrating. Let me explain more. We lost daddy in July but Thanksgiving was his favorite holiday. He always made the turkey, stuffing and gravy. Those were his babies. From a young age I remember breaking dried bread with him, and a little older mixing the stuffing. Then I remember helping to stuff the bird and getting it ready for it's time in the oven. I remember my daddy and I playing in the kitchen while mom just wanted to bird in the oven. I remember daddy wanting to eat in front of the television because he had to watch the game while mom wanted a nice family dinner. I remember mom going to great lengths (sometimes just for the three of us) to set the table, have dinner at a decent time, and enjoy each others company just this one day each year. Daddy, he just wanted to eat turkey and watch a game! I have to side with mom on this one though!! Mom and I never really took the time to mourn daddy's death properly together during the months of July to November of last year so by Thanksgiving we were both done! We had finally just had enough. Neither of us were feeling it at this point and I was covering my feelings by going all out (as always) and mom was just wanting to sit in her room and not participate at all. I was upset and she was upset that I was doing so much on "daddy's holiday". I finally took the 20 pound frozen turkey and just threw it over the back fence! I didn't want to celebrate at all! I was just done!! Well, that is when the family swoops in and saves Thanksgiving! I ended up leaving and crying. I needed space (yes, I was ok to drive). My family saved the turkey, knowing I wasn't really done but just needed to mourn. My mom was crying with the family surrounding her letting her mourn my daddy properly, finally. I came back within about five minutes (I can never stay away, I love my family that much). I ran straight to my mom where we embraced and just cried. We cried over my daddy, we cried over turkey and we cried over the fact that we will never eat Thanksgiving dinner by 4 o'clock because we are just not that family! But mostly we cried over my daddy. We cried and talked for a long time and had our mourning period finally. I think she had been ready to mourn for a while but I had personally been on auto pilot since my daddy had passed away. I never gave my mom that. In the end we were able to have a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner, thanks to my wonderful husband and kids. I made the turkey just like my daddy would have!! He would have been proud of our family last year!! We ALL came together and made the best of a really bad situation!! I am proud of our family! I am not proud of my actions but I know I didn't let God help me up until that point get through my daddy's passing. I learned alot from that situation. I kept praying for my mom and for God to help her but never once did I turn to Him myself. I still don't know why I didn't. I think I just let my flesh get in the way and thought I had it all under control. I didn't at all! Now, ANYtime I encounter something I really try to let God take over and fight that flesh that is always getting in the way. I have definitely changed alot in the past year in my walk with The Lord and I will continue to pray His help in my life on my daily struggles! As far as this Thanksgiving, we will be celebrating on Friday with Randy's brother and his friend!! I am so excited! We may even have another couple over which I am thrilled about! I absolutely love this lady and she lives so close but we never see each other. I really hope they can make it! I am totally stoked about Randy's brother coming for a couple days though because it has been too long since we have seen him. He is in Atlanta now so hopefully we will see him more. He hasn't seen Gracie since she was 7!! Wow!! We are in the process of getting our Christmas decorations up (well, Maryjo is) and I am getting the menu ready! I can't wait! No more throwing turkeys! I don't think Maryjo will ever let me live that one down!!

October 30, 2013

What an amazing weekend!!

Life has been busy! What's new?! Hanni turned 9 earlier this month!! I can't believe my baby girl is 9 years old!!! We just had a small family celebration with presents and cake before Randy had to work that night. It was so bittersweet since next year my baby will be double digits!! Randy had a surprise weekend off! His schedule got changed this week and he told me Tuesday he'd be off for the weekend which worked out perfectly since we had tickets to Passion:LTFB Tour stopping at our church Saturday evening!!! What an amazing evening with the family and being able to worship God! Kristian Stanfill was awesome and to see so many young people come together to worship was just so awesome!! We also got to sit with some pretty great friends of the girls!! I just love my girls friends as much as they do!! I am so thankful that God has placed each and everyone of the people in my kids lives that He has! It is so neat to see the relationships grow and even look back and remember having those same people in my lives just different faces and how blessed I also was as a kid! Randy, Carpender and I Randy, Eli, Carpender and I Sweet Jessica and Hanni bug You wouldn't know it by the picture but Hanni was miserable at the concert! She was sick but we didn't know it until after. She was just not herself the whole night so I took her temp when I got home and it was a low fever. Poor baby!! She bounced back quickly by the next afternoon but I felt horrible for her!! This is Gracie and me after the concert. It was late and we were tired. We were driving all over town looking for Maryjo because we were going to pick her up! Umm, can we say it was loud in there and miscommunications all over the board!! Oh and I should have pick up my phone and called her after the concert!! Oh well, Gracie and I had fun and Maryjo got home, finally!! Ha!! The next morning we had to be at the church bright and EARLY!! It was rough!! Gracie had a performance for Elevate Student Choir!! I have to say these kids are awesome!!! Sunday afternoon we carved pumpkins! How fun!! Our oven went out Saturday and I usually make snacks while the family carves each year. This year I had to make fried dough instead of pretzel balls! So good though!! So unhealthy but So Good!! Fortunately, our oven was fixed yesterday, thanks to my amazing husband!!! So yes, it has been busy but fun!! I am loving the fall weather but now I am wondering where it went!! We got hit with cooler weather last week and now it is warm again!! Come on cold weather!!

October 10, 2013

Worst Blogger Ever!!

I think I am the worst person in the world to have a blog! I did very well at keeping it up for a while but then didn't post for a year and a half!! I have been very busy though. We did have a baby boy!! Carpender McTighe Horton.
Ok, that was 17 months ago! Here's is our little monkey now!
He is an absolutely amazing kiddo! I love this boy! I know I sound just like a mom but I mean it! He is so awesome!! And Fuuunnnn!! We have been through a lot in the past year in a half though. As much fun as we have had with adding Carpender to our lives it has been a hard time too as we have had to say goodbye to my daddy.
This is one of the last pictures we have of daddy and it is of him and Carpender! He loved "the baby". My daddy was an amazing man and it has been so hard with him gone but I know he is in a better place and am so comforted by that! We also said hello and goodbye to Gilbert Gabriel Horton this year. On June 18 Randy and I had a baby boy at 21 weeks. We were prepared for our loss and knew what to expect when we gave birth to our baby boy. Our baby had a severe heart defect and we knew with the particular heart defect that our baby had it was for the best. My body was in the early signs of labor at our 20 week ultrasound and things were progressing. It actually was five days later that I had Gilbert. It was a sad time but also a special time. As far as everything else, we are very busy with activities each day it seems! I love days I can just relax but they are few and far between!! The kids are growing like weeds! I am bound and determined to keep up better with my blog!!